Books, GGS

Books have always fascinated me. Since we were kids, everybody told us we should always read, since books educate you. I suppose back then I didn’t quite understand how they educate us. I read because it was a diversion for me.
I just finished a book by Jared Diamond. Guns, Germs and Steel captured my heart so easily and made me fall in love with books again. Besides the answers about human history questions, it provided me with general knowledge about geography and history. When I was younger, I used to be a geography and history freak, teaching myself what the important dates and places are. But somehow, I always forgot that knowledge. But wit this book, there’s no way I’ll forget… just because those names and dates became a part of my understanding of the concept of the book. So I had no choice: either to memorize that info by chance, or end the book without getting its core message. I must’ve done the first. Yay for me!! Now it’s moving to another target.

Boohoo

It seems that the older I get, the less things I have to do. Well, that's not completely true. It's just that I've been so lame the past year or so that if I don't have an immediate fun thing to do, I don't have anything. When I was younger, I had my days full of things to do in case I get bored. Now even the idea of putting a list is driving me crazy. Maybe it's summer that's why. Plus, the present security issues and terrorist scares. We can't go out like we used to, so we're stuck at home.

My song to my rescue

Who would have ever thought that my own song would save me one day. A few years ago, I started a weird habit. That of writing songs. Just lyrics, of course, cause I’m the farthest a human being can get from tunes. I started writing whenever I felt like it. I didn’t push myself or make it a chore, as I was in the habit of doing to every other hobby I had. Somehow I’ve managed to write some 10 songs. I laugh at them every time I read them. I’m also too embarrassed to show them to anybody. They’re my little secret.
Today though, that changed. Kind of. One of them gave me the answer I’ve been looking for. I wanted to know how to get myself to dream again. Between my bitterness at the way my journey ended in the US and the war in Lebanon, my dreams vanished. And I found myself disgruntled the whole time, never enjoying any blessing. Now I know why. It’s because I didn’t see anything as part of the big picture, just because there was no big picture. Well, I decided I’ve been like this for too long and that I’ve had enough of my terrible mood swings. So I wanted that big picture again, and most definitely, I wanted those small mishaps that make the big picture beautiful. Well, it seems that a while back I had written a song about dreaming, and how to do it. Perfect. Exactly what I needed.
Now it’s time to start dreaming again. But first, I have to memorize my song!

The Games... AGNS ck

I haven't forgotten about my blog. I just haven't had much to say lately. Too much to think about, but not much to share with blogosphere. I was in Qatar for a month to be part of the Asian Games News Service. It was a memorable experience, as most would agree, but maybe for the wrong reasons, at least for me. At first, the Games were the most horrible experience in my professional career. Too much jealousy and unprofessional behavior. But then, we worked around everything that bothered us, and made the best of our time. We had fun, we laughed like crazy, and made great new friendships.
There are some bad memories that stuck with me and I cannot shake them off. I still wonder how can some people brag about being out there for 15 or 20 years, and still lack the minimum professionalism or temawork attitude to be sucessful in life? It puzzles me that some folks are not even aware that these are chracteristics they need to have to be decent people! Definitely their loss!

Nostalgia

I hate it when days fly by fast. I cannot believe I've been here for 6 months. Sometimes it feels I've been here forever. But at the same time, I remember the US so well. I remember every single detail about my life there. I can even imagine myself coming home from work, dining with friends, or getting frsutrated at having nothing important to do. I remember the couch at home, the coffeeshop, my vehicle, my phone, TV, and everything else. Stupid or meaningful, I remember it all! I guess it's just a simple case of nostalgia!

Life-changing cases

I was asking myself if it is at all possible that one thing can change a person forever. I have many of those "one things," but it scares me to know that who I am today is a result of a certain "one thing" here and there.
Take school for example. Almost everybody who knows me well knows that I fell in love with 3 classes at LSU. Each one of them was greatly helpful. But only one changed me totally. That one was the dean's class. I learned things in that class that changed my writing style radically. Of course I still write with my own style, but the things that he taught us made such a deep impact on me that I still remember and use each one of his tips. And I think, I will continue to do so forever.

Still asking... still waiting!

In my August post I asked, "where is my goodbye?" Twenty-five days later, I am still asking and still waiting for an answer. From war day one, I believed the war will not accomplish anything. The proof is life in Lebanon today. The political leaders still hate each other and they still cannot reach a concensus about how to live together in peace.
During the war, I wrote an article for Valley Life, an Italian magazine in the Tuscany region. I was living the ugliness of war, I was depressed and upset, so naturally, I wasn't going to write my best article ever. I sent it though, pretty convinced that it was the best I could do then. But now, I look at at and I don't like it. It is too sad, too bitter, too bleak. Not a single word of hope. I feel ashamed now. Not for writing the article that way, but for feeling that way. The article feels like the end of the world. In my defence though, it did feel like the end of the world. It felt as if I'm never going to enjoy a good night's sleep. But still, I should have been optimistic that "this too, shall end" (as said in My Best Friend's Wedding). I have a personal history of optimism, determination, perseverance, and pure stubborness to go on. They all disappeared in the war. I was left with pessimism, anger, and hatred. I will never ever be proud of those war days. They will always stand as the some of the worst in my entire life.