Where's my goodbye?

The war came and left without a proper goodbye. I'm mad, because I deserve an apology from all those who ruined my future, those who started the war, and those who ended it. They took their time in killing our self-esteem, but were in a hurry to stop the war without achieving anything. Nothing at all. Neither sides achieved anything. This is so ridiculous. I don't understand how war mongers live. What goes on in their head? They're ok with killing or causing the killing of thousands just to defend their stubborn ideology? How can that make sense? They say they're doing this for Lebanon, for our dignity. What dignity? Whose dignity? Of the streets? Because, as much as I know, nobody is left in Lebanon. It seems they're fighting for the dignity of the Lebanese cement and gravel.
Anyway, all I know is that the war came, ruined everything, then left goalless. Isn't it our right, after all we went through, to have a synopsis of the war? Or something like a summary of why we were put through this nightmare? I'm done living for others. My life is priceless, my future is important, and I simply refuse to let anybody take them away from me.
SHAME ON THEM ALL for having the guts to watch people die while they blindly defend their goals.

Beirut!

Has a single word ever meant so much to you? A word that carries a certain weight and that stirs up emotions in you? I have mine, and it's BEIRUT. I love that word, and I cannot explain why. I am not being emotional just because we are in a war. I've always felt like this about Beirut... mostly, when I was in the States. To the question "Where are you from," I've answered "Beirut" much more than I've answered "Lebanon." They're both true, of course, but I relate more to Beirut than I do Lebanon. Whenever I say it, or read it somewhere, it doesn't seem like a mere word to me. "Beirut" is always smiling, and somehow fruity to me. Needless to say, I adore the songs about Beirut, how pretty it is and how majestic. My favorite is one special song that calls Beirut, ya set el dunia, which literally means "the world's ma'am!" The phrase sounds much sweeter though said in Arabic than in English.

Goodbye Dr. Tim

Being in a war is not the worst thing that can happen right now. I heard very bad news today about my professor. Dr. Tim Cook passed away :( He is one of my very few favorites! He was the main reason I got my master's degree. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have passed because I wouldn't have known what I need to do. He was a great thesis chair, a wonderful professor, and a real funny person. I will miss him!

War TV mania

One of the worst things about disasters, natural or man-made, is being absorbed into the TV set. I’ve watched the news in the past 23 days of the war more than I have my entire life. But now I am trying to abstain from watching the news, because all it does is upset me. I still have to figure out a way to do it though. Last night, I woke up to the sound of a big blast. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but I heard a few more later. My hand automatically went to the remote control. I switched on the TV to find out where the bombs fell. It was 4:25 a.m. See, even in my sleep, my first reaction is turning on the news. The only thing I can stand watching is what got destroyed, how many died and the like. Strict reporting. Even reporters though get on my nerves when they start analyzing the facts. We got enough politicians and political writers analyze the war already, that I really do not wish to hear the reporters’ analysis too. And besides, even those politicians don’t say much. If they say something that goes along my views about the war, then I’m happy. If their opinion is against mine, I get mad. Both ways though, it doesn’t change anything about the war. We’re still scared, we’re still being bombed, so what does it matter what experts say in the media. It just arouses the public’s emotions, those of hatred and love.